zeldathemes
All Monsters
are human

im thea, im norwegian-american, and i love a lot of things

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arcnoise:

arcnoise:

some time ago i introduced the phrase “food pact” to my friends as a shorthand for “i’ll go make and eat food if you also make and eat food” and ever since then ive just started incorporating more pacts into my life. stay hydrated pact. stretch break pact. stop doomscrolling and go to bed pact. we need to bring this back in vogue more people should be making pacts imo

the best part of this is when you ask “who wants to do a shower pact” and you get a half dozen friends all rolling up saying “the pact is sealed”. faustian behavior

johndoe-lesbo:

do not. Sell my husband twelve fascinating issues of Zoobooks and the Tiger Poster.

A screenshot from AMC's Breaking Bad. Pictured is the back of Jesse Pinkman's head wearing a red jacket and a red, white and black beanie. Also pictured is Skyler White in a blue shirt and white jacket. A picture of multiple animal magazines is on the upper left corner and a poster of a tiger is on the lower right side of the image. Both the magazines and poster are the brand Zoobooks™️.ALT

tryworks:

what they dont tell you about growing up as a very lonely little girl is that you grow up and still a part of you remains that very lonely little girl

paddingtonhat:

paddingtonhat:

I think i met an angel on the train

This older man moved my skirt aside and I absent-mindedly said “oh sorry” for being partially in his seat and he said “dont be sorry, this is new york” and then showed me all his poetry about observing the world and living as a restaurant worker during the pandemic and we talked about how i worked in a grocery store and as a bartender so i resonated with his work and he told me “i may never meet you again but it’s nice to meet someone worth talking to. I might sound like a world class idiot sage, but you can’t be afraid. That’s no way to live. You have to trust your humanity.” Then he shook my hand and got off the stop before me. Hello. Hello . Hello.

himborc:

maamlet:

oh youre bi? why dont you “bi” me some time with a distraction while i crack this safe ya fuckin goon

you got it boss (makes out with the bank teller and his wife)

xixijinping:

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rednines:

zoethebitch:

why are yall so obsessed with halloween what’s the deal

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o-craven-canto:

karcatgirl-vantas:

kontextmaschine:

Our Japanese class found it funny that in common terminology “food” isn’t very distinguished from specifically “rice” until it was pointed out to us that in English “meal” is “loose roughly ground grain”

humans be like staple crop

Guy who gets most of their calories from ground grain looking at any other food: getting lots of ground grain vibes from this

halomancer-2:

froody:

froody:

“the term mpreg is inherently transphobic because pregnancy is gender neutral” I hate to tell you this but in the pregnancy fetish fanfiction community they also use the term fpreg

there are -pregs you wouldn’t even dream of

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lux-astralis:

theauthor27:

derinthescarletpescatarian:

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autisthc:

greathoughtsphilosopy:

chickenlittlefan15:

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HARK !!! I SEE HER !! RIGHT IN THE CENTER OF POST !! RAISE THEM MEN FROM THEIR SLUMBER WE’VE A BEAST TO SLAY

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guy0509:

why does it cost money